How To Pet My Peeves

Disclaimer: People who have known me for a long time know that this list is mostly in jest and also mostly true. So I guess it's a funny truth? Don't get offended. If I've ever said something that has been offensive to you I guarantee you I will be a repeat offender after this so just...okay?

So without further ado, and in no particular order, things that are annoying to me:

1. People who are off-put by this list.
2. People who take a shower but don't wash their hair.
3. Knuckle Cracking (!!!!)
4. People who sweat when they eat.
5. When the Asian nail tech talks to the other asians in the salon and you know (you just know) it's about you.
6. Girl's Camp Songs.
7. Flip Flops at church.
8. Hoodies at church.
9. Close talkers.
10. Unnecessary punctuation within a name.
11. "Uniquely" spelled names. Just stop.
12. Those who think "funner" is not a word.
13. People who say they have a "dry" sense of humor but in actuality just don't have a personality.
14. People who don't understand that I have a personality.. my sense of humor is just dry okay.
15. Shrillness, in almost any form.
16. Slow drivers.
17. Basically if I'm driving on the road and you are too, you're probably bugging me.
18. Spandex at Disneyland. (Usually found by the funnel cake and/or corn dog stands).
19. People who don't listen during the instructions and then promptly ask for clarification.
20. Dramatic LDS pop music.
21. Loud yawners.
22. Dating couples who try to pass off as married couples. Stop it.
23. People who don't kiss till they get married.
24. "Cool" moms.
25. People who don't take their screaming kids out of sacrament.

To be continued.

All The Really Cool Single Ladies

So by now I've pretty much solidified my stance on blogging (only posting when friends demand it of me). Thank you, Christina for striking fear into my heart of what might happen if I went much longer without posting something.

P.S. if you want to follow a super adorable and candid blog by a beautiful girl who has a gift for writing hilarious things... http://chrissyjohansen.blogspot.com/

You'll thank me, so you're welcome.

Anywayyyy. Right now I should definitely be studying for my MathEd 305 final or cleaning my house or out on a run or wearing super amazing J. Crew outfits or cooking a gourmet meal for my husband to come home to because that's what other wife bloggers are always doing! Right? (Haha blog humor). 

Instead I've found myself watching not one, but two episodes of Newlyweds the First Year on Oxygen. It's not even good. Actually it's pretty trashy. I hate myself? Okay the point is it has made me reflect on how truly awesome it has been to be married to this guy.

Not a humble brag. I'm going somewhere with this. We have a lot of great friends who are at the time in their life where they want to get married. And I can't blame them. It is pretty great and in our culture and where we live it's pretty much the singular crowning glory haha. Disclaimer: Yes I got married when I was 19 so maybe in the eyes of some people I lucked out and didn't realllly have to play the dating game (disagree) so maybe I should be the last person to give out dating advice? For what it's worth though here it is. 

Throughout conversations with the above-mentioned friends we've determined that one of the reasons there are so many unattached great people inexplicably wandering around single is that they're getting too wrapped up in the dating game. 

Dating Game example #1:

In this scenario we see a really great guy and girl act really stupid. Let's watch!

Awesome single guy: guy met girl through friends/at church/at work/it doesn't matter. He has been wanting to ask her out but wants to seem just aloof enough so he has waited for like 3 weeks. "Hey girl I'm interested in. Want to hang out?"

Cool Single Girl: girl thinks 'okay I'm interested in this guy. He's great and I'm really looking to get into a relationship and I've been wanting him to ask me to do something and I would love to see where this could go...' and yet she responds "Oh Hey! Well yeah I guess I could maybe do something sometime." Yes perfect. Act disinterested!

ASG: "How about Friday?"

CSG: thinks 'yeah I'm free Friday but I don't want him to think I'm available! I need to appear to be super busy. I'll tell him I'm going to a concert friday. No! I'm opening at a concert friday. No no no. I AM putting on a concert Friday. Yeah. I'm a musical superstar.. That's good. "Umm Friday isn't good. I have a thing..."Yes vague. Vague is always good. Keep them guessing.

ASG: "Oh okay another time." Well I can't offer Saturday instead. Then she'll think I don't have plans on either Friday OR Saturday and then she will think I am a Social Leper and then I might as well kill myself. Well, on to the next one!

We've all done it. Let's all think about this though. How did acting disinterested, too cool, too busy, too mysterious, etc., work out for these two? I know this is how it goes because I've watched friends painstakingly create the most overly cool, disinterested texts they could muster in the hopes of being just intriguing enough to get someone to notice them.. And it just doesn't work. 

More on this later. :)

Down with Men?

This post is going to be a little uncharacteristic of my usual social media habits but after an AMAZING Relief Society lesson last Sunday I'm going to have to jump up on my soap box and vent a little about something that's been on my mind.

If this started going around on Facebook would anyone laugh? What would most of the comments say?

It's not even clever right? I like a little saucy humor and can appreciate a pretty wide range of jokes but this just isn't that funny. 

So then why is this funny?

I found this on Pinterest under a search for "men". When did men become such a joke?

For example here's what's on TV right now. I'm not talking about Homer Simpson or Al Bundy from like 20 years ago. Airing on TV right now in this modern age of "equality" we have Phil Dunphy, the admittedly hilarious but unarguably incapable dad on Modern Family. We have the new ABC show "Watch Dad Run." Truthfully, I haven't seen an episode but just from the previews I think I can pretty much summarize the premise. Smart, competent mom goes back to work and dumb, oblivious dad has to become a lowly stay at home dad and struggle with difficult tasks such as starting the dishwasher and running carpool. Hilarity and amusement ensue. Don't even get me started on the parents we see on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. It seems like half of those kids don't even have parents to begin with. The ones who do make appearances are portrayed as idiots whose kids always know best or who are completely oblivious to their kids shenanigans. Phineas and Ferb anyone? 

(I love Phineas and Ferb. I'm just sayin'!)

Let's all close our eyes and use our imaginations. You turn on the TV and there's a commercial where a man is trying to trick his chubby wife into exercising. Maybe he even bribes her with shoes or money or something. Not cool? A little distasteful? Flip the scenario. Oh hey it's a Cheerios commercial. Or that one Fiber One Bar commercial. 

Here's what I'm getting at. I was raised by a perfectly intelligent and able Dad who I respect more than anyone in the world. Except maybe my Mom, because he taught me that she deserved respect. Because that's what good dads do. Don't men deserve the same? Are moms doing enough to teach their kids that their dads deserve respect? I see way too many wives belittling and speaking badly about their husbands in front of other people, even their kids. Don't be surprised then moms when your teenagers think dad is someone who can be ignored and disobeyed. I saw it all the time from my own friends in high school and I see it all the time from families I know now. How many Relief Society lessons have you been in where the women sat around and laughed about how terrible the Smith girl's hair looked because mom is out of town and Dad is an idiot? Trust me. Women are not the butt of the jokes in Priesthood. The topics of conversation at Enrichment Night shouldn't be whose husband did the most idiotic thing this week.

I was once in a devotional where the speaker said "We have a Heavenly Father who could have taken any title he wanted. We could be addressing him infinite different prestigious, lofty titles. For some reason though, our God chose simply to go by the title of "Father."

When counseling Laman and Lemuel, Lehi's last advice to them before passing away was to "Arise from the dust my sons, and be men." 

Let's let our men be men and embrace our role as women. We have special talents and responsibilities and as much as feminists try to prove otherwise, we are fundamentally different. But equally important. Let's all try to show the men in our lives a little more respect. 

We're Back!

Okay so my first order of business is to thank Marykate Barrett for getting on my case about being such a miserable blogger. I wanted to do a post on our amazing honeymoon to Cancun but we haven't even taken the pictures off the camera so I guess that shows where our social media priorities have been lately. So in no particular order here are some things we've been up to during the 5+ month hiatus:

At the beginning of last semester we went sailing with Sam and Jess Pugmire on the Great Salt Lake. I highly recommend it. It's by far the best setting to reenact pretty much any scene you want from Titanic. For Halloween we decided to see if our love could really stand the test of time. We looked rough but hopefully by the time we look that old our vision will be failing so we won't really mind anymore. One of the highlights was definitely Christmas break. We weren't prepared for how time consuming our jobs and school were going to be our first semester married so Christmas Break provided some much needed time to "chill for a minute" as Stu would say. We started it off by going to Disneyland with my family for a few days and then got to go to spend Christmas with Stu's family in Toppenish. I wish I had pictures of the adorable PJs that Lucy made for everyone or the incredible Duck Dynasty shirt that she got so I'll have to make a request for those. 

 Our bed was just a mattress on the floor for the first 4 months (which is fine when you're single and just couldn't find any cinderblocks to use as bed stilts) but we had really been wanting a big kid bed for a while when I found the frame and headboard for $100 at the RC Willey outlet. Steal. The deal just kept coming that day though and I also found this table for $20 at Confetti Antiques in Spanish Fork where we live and my mom and I made this gallery wall from things I found at the antique store or things I had stashed away in closets. Thank you, Pinterest. 

Stu turned the big 26 on the 17th and so I thought it would be fun to surprise him with a party at his favorite restaurant Maria Bonita. I underestimated how hard it would be to keep a secret and I'm almost positive that he knew exactly what was going on. I had a back up surprise though and remade the Ninja Turtle cake that his mom made for his 4th birthday and I think I really did it justice!

Yeah, I wish. 

Harmon's to the rescue. Maybe Lucy can give me some cake decorating tips for next year.

The night was so fun and I was so impressed by my husband's friends. I've always known he had a really awesome group of friends but almost every single person I invited came and wished him a happy birthday and I appreciate them making it such a great day for him. :)

And for those of you who didn't come, feel free to send gifts, money, treats... really anything expensive or tasty will do.